**** The leap of faith – How to know when to jump? ****
NOTHING is like it used to be 3 weeks ago. Never would I have imagined it to go that way.
Nothing seems to make sense anymore. Not even this sentence.
I was so certain. So certain about my path. So certain about the essence and the frame of my vision.
The essence is still there but the frame has changed dramatically.
People I thought closest to me are turning their back on me. Disappointed. I do understand them. We are both disappointed. We both have imagined it to unfold differently.
It feels as if we have forgotten once again who the other really is. Falling back into the same old blaming game. Everything we once saw in each other seem to have never existed.
It hurts. And yet it feels so right. The decision. The new frame of the vision. The time.
It feels like everything that has been waiting to fall into place finally fell.
I start to feel for people who are ending long-term marriages and report that their whole life falls apart and that they are lost in translation.
And at the same time it feels like the only sane thing to do – at least to themselves.
The thing that hurts the most is the feeling of “Nothing can be certain anymore.”
What can be trusted in this world when a vision as strong as mine was can not be trusted?
And still – I have to keep trusting.In a man I met six weeks ago. In a vision I received 3 weeks ago.
I am starting to get a feel for what “taking the leap of faith” truly means.
The jump is pretty far.
And still – jumping is the right thing to do. Even if all my inner alarm bells go nuts in my head.
I have learned over the course of my life to distinguish between ego desires and the guidance of my soul.
Not saying I never follow ego desires anymore – but at least I do it consciously.
7 years ago. 2012. The first awakening to the truth of who I am. To the fact that I more more than this flesh suit I am wearing and washing and navigating through this time and space reality called life on earth.
Whenever I felt this excitement I am feeling now – this divine inspiration – it lead me to a more soul-aligned life.
Against all reason. Against all advice. Against all blame and shame and judgement.
And believe me – there was a lot of that!
I always followed this divine excitement. I am very committed to it all my life as it leads me towards my highest service.
But never had I been tested harder before how committed I really am.
But still – the hardest decision of my life was quite quickly made.
Just convincing my brain to trust in it was a little difficult to say the least.
Embracing change – trusting in change – allowing change – when it is divinely inspired.
How can you tell if it is?!
You don´t want to do anything else anymore AND it is serving your growth.
Even and especially if it is not serving your desire to stay in the comfort zone.
The decision of my soul was “Next Level…”
My body and my mind are mere executive organs.
Soul does not ask if you are ready. Soul informs.
And how does soul inform?
Either by sending you more and more excitement, joy, pleasure, love, bliss and ecstasy – if you listen and follow.
Or by sending you drama, pain, struggle and crisis if you don´t.
You can decide if you follow your body and your mind who are in resistance to following the information of the soul.
If you hold on to something just because you said you would.
Even with knowing all this – it hurts.
Still it feels right.
Contradictions may exist in me.
I know one day all will make sense.
I know one day we will all sit together and understand and high five each other.
I know that we ALL are doing an amazing job mastering a level of reality that is more endgame than a game developer could ever hope to come up with.
No matter where you are on your journey. You are doing the best you can!
If you could do better you would – and I know you will.
Because you keep going. Keep choosing. Keep learning. Keep jumping and leaping and trusting No matter what!
One day we will all sit together and smile at each others successes.
Until then, my friend, I wish for you to allow your soul to bring you all the blessings that are waiting for you. And the courage to execute your souls decisions.
Keep remembering who you are