**** My New Project – The University of Soul-Realization ****
Most difficult decision of my life, divine inspiration, what does it mean to live a soul-aligned life…
My recent posts where all a little cryptic and now I just cannot hold it back any longer!
I was so tempted to just scream it out into the world and shout it from the effing rooftops – but I was, and still am a little – afraid to do it at the same time.
Like a soon-to-be mother I was guarding my secret of being pregnant and feeling for the right timing.
This massive change needs time to be fully realized by the mother.
These last 3 weeks felt just like that.
I felt like sitting in a car that drives steadily into the same direction and suddenly the universe stepped on the breaks and turned the wheel so rapidly that the car swirls and swirls and swirls round and round until it arrives safely on the new path.
This arriving on the new path, realizing of massive change and dealing with huge amounts of fear of letting go happens gradually.
Last full moon my new partner, with whom I am living in Panajachel now, received a vision.
At first I didn´t really get what it was all about. Until two days later I started to receive my own version of it and was swept off my feet.
I got these “downloads” in the middle of a cuddles therapy session. When the session was over I almost literally ran home to tell him what I just received. And that all of it starts to make so much sense now.
What I received was the vision of creating a school for people who desire to discover and realize their true potential.
I received the educational modality on which the school is based and I received detailed time tables and instructions on how to structure the curriculum so that the flow is guaranteed for each of the students.
In 2.5 days we finished the outline of the curriculum with the different subjects based on the 6 main archetypes of a human being and aligned with the Chakra System (6. and 7. Chakra are tied into the same field).
I had to only sleep a couple of hours every night and was completely taken over by divine inspiration.
This is so much what I always wanted to create. A school and a system that helps people to unfold their potential and to live a fully self-realized life on all levels of human existence.
This is the essence of my vision for the community I wanted to create in Peru.
Just that here we already have the land where we can start putting our vision into action RIGHT NOW!
My partner just recently bought a piece of land at the lake that hadn´t had a real purpose until now.
I am ripe, I am overripe to stop dreaming and start creating!!
I wanted to build such a school since I first visited the Eco Village “Sieben Linden” in Germany where I had my spiritual awakening in 2012.
The whole purpose of building a community was built around the vision of having such a school.
And I got offered the position of the principal for this school! How cool is that????!!!!
… But the more I felt all my energy shifting towards the new project – and the new relationship – the more I started to feel the fear of letting go of the community vision and the fear of loosing my relationship to Nick and Pung.
Thoughts of doubt started to enter my mind.
Do I really let go of this long held vision of Peru?
Do I really want to live at the lake?
Can I trust my new partner and our feelings for each other when we only know each other a few weeks?
Do I really want to throw everything away for this new vision?
I actually only wanted to stay 3 weeks for learning a bit about online marketing and creating a clearer vision for my community with the help of the business management skills of my new partner…
As well the first attempt to talk with Nick about the new vision wasn´t going as well as I thought – I was too hopeful that he would feel my enthusiasm and would let go of the community to join the new vision with us.
For me it doesn´t even feel that it would need to be either or.
I feel I still have to learn so much that I need for holding and creating the huge vision of a 120 people Eco Village.
It feels like a huge and crazy opportunity to learn all about project management, holding responsibility and growing a strong inner foundation.
All things that I need to have in place when really pursuing the vision of my own community and healing center.
I am still young and even though I grew immensely in the last 6 years I still sometimes feel like a very hot mess.
Far from owning the stability and responsibility for carrying the huge community project on my shoulders.
In my vision about the school I received the number 5 in terms of years of commitment.
The last 2 weeks I had to fight many inner battles between my divine inspiration and my enthusiasm for the new project and my fears and doubts of “Am I really making the right choice here?!” and loosing my other partnership.
I know that my heart has already decided – but my mind still seeks validation (the 2 card readings I got where very positive) and tries desperately to make sense of it all…
I know this feeling of excitement and anxiety at the same time and it was always always always an indicator for an immense amount of growth and inner development.
And if you know me just a little bit you know that inner growth and excitement are my north stars on which I orient my life.
Yesterday I spoke with Joe (my new partner) about the desire for my own place and this morning I found a notice at the grocery store about an apartment for rent.
5 minutes away from my partners house, fully furnished and in the desired price range even though he said this is rather unrealistic to find…
Actually it should have been rented out already by first of march but I called anyway and: it is still available.
Tomorrow I have my appointment to look at it….
Spirit is with me, my friends! I feel it in every cell of my body and in every moment of divine inspiration that flows through me whenever I work on anything related to the school.
And the very best of all this is: Tantra will be one of the 6 fields (Archetype: Lover – Sacral Chakra) so I will build up my Tantra School at the same time as part of the university!!!!
I am over the moon to announce my project pregnancy to the world.
I am beyond grateful for this incredible manifestation of co-creation of spirit, mind and heart.
This crazy, crazy, crazy, wonderful, incredibly tough and ever surprising life!!!!
Stay tuned for the Solreign University of Soul-Realization and the Lalita Tantra School
It´s gonna be EPIC!!!!