**** He who takes the lead ****
“Fuck it. I am a grown up woman!” I thought to myself when he asked me not to open the door of his car ever again by myself.
“Are you kidding me” I asked with my raised eyebrows when he insisted of me walking on the inner side of the pathway to be protected from any car that could maybe crash into me.
“Why do I always have to educate these western women” he silently asked back through his big and slightly provoking smile.
I stay seated until he opens the car door for me.
And I walk on the inner side of the pathway.
Not because he wants me to obey.
Not because he suppresses me.
But because I feel his good intentions and his care for me.
And this is how he expresses it.
One part of me really is uncomfortably far out of my comfort zone.
Its really not what I am used to.
I am a natural leader myself and if any other man would try to play these dominating games with me I would just laugh at him and ignore it.
But he is different.
He does not try.
He does not play.
He is so freaking natural in taking the lead that the other part of me recognizes it as his truth and let him take the lead willingly.
I would lie if I would say that it doesn’t turn me on to be treated like this…
These two parts battle inside of me.
I frown at him and at the same time I frown at myself.
I cannot stop myself from thinking that in times of emancipation western men have been educated not to take the lead anymore.
And that this insecurity and the change in power dynamic is weakening the sexual attraction in relationships.
I feel a lot of men are trying these days.
Trying very hard to handle the confusion the rise of the feminine brought to their world.
Trying to find self-confidence somewhere inside.
Deep down a lot of men must feel like walking on a mine field when they are around women.
I feel them.
I feel them more then ever.
I feel you, man.
I feel your confusion and your lack of orientation in your male identity.
What do these goddamn women want from you, hm?
I encourage you to take the lead again.
To take back the role of the protector.
It is what you are before you have been domesticated.
And women want that!
They just don’t want to be overpowered!
What about you?!
Do you as a man like to lead, to protect?
Or do you use it as a way of dominating women in a bad way?
Do you fear to take the lead?
Do you as a woman like to be treated that way – or prefer to lead yourself?
If so, why?
Is it naturally to you or do you do it out of fear? Out of thinking this is what you have to do as an emancipated woman?