*** For the you who survived ***
Dear sister, dear brother…
Dear sensitive, chaotic, frustrated, ambitious and constantly questioning being…
They will tell you you just have to change your beliefs …
They will tell you you just have to try __________ (fill in the newest spiritual kink) to FINALLY GET THERE
They will tell you you just have to “try harder and keep going” …
They will tell you what worked for them …
And if it doesn’t work for you it’s obviously your fault.
You didn’t do it right … You just didn’t try hard enough … You don’t want it enough …
Not enough – not enough – not enough – never enough …
But what they don’t see is that the brain of someone who survived works differently.
That a traumatized brain works differently.
That the things you had to, still have to and in some way always will have to deal with require a different skill set.
“Listen to your body, your heart, your gut, your intuition, etc.pp.” often does not work for you…
Because trauma has taught you that being in your body isn’t safe. That trusting your intuition brought you in trouble. That your heart is so numb that it just doesn’t tell you anything… Or so overflowing with contradicting emotions that it sends you off in a million different directions.
And you question yourself more than you question the methods or the people telling you about the methods. The Gurus, the self-proclaimed masters, the spiritual know-it-alls …
All these people miss one thing:
You have ALREADY mastered the unspeakable.
You have ALREADY survived something that many others didn’t survive.
You are ALREADY succeeding at life – day by day by day by day!
No matter what they say. No matter what your inner critic says.
And of course just “surviving” is not enough for you… Just vegetating is not enough for you…
You want to thrive – to grow – to succeed in this societal game that they made you desire to win at.
But I want you to know one thing:
YOU HAVE MASTERED THE HARDEST THING THERE IS TO MASTER.
You have survived!
And your system was very occupied with this recalibration.
Very very busy with going through the healing process.
Very very busy with soothing, overcoming, reintegrating and finding its place in this crazy and frightening world.
Finding some level of safety and calmness after the insane shock it has gone through…
Your system was busy and for a big part is still very busy to keep you save and alive!
No, there was no capacity for “putting yourself out there”. Are you crazy putting yourself at risk in this way?
No, there was no capacity for sitting and meditating for an hour every day. Are you crazy sitting there with your eyes closed when danger could enter your reality at any second?!
No, there was no capacity for pursuing a classical career. Are you crazy allowing others again to tell you what you have to do?!
Your traumatized brain works different.
It doesn’t need the next diet. The next tool. The next practice. The next one telling you about the next magic pill or affirmation or mantra.
It needs safety. It needs soothing. It needs acknowledgement for the horrific things you have survived.
Acknowledgement and praise and worship and love.
And love and love and love and even more love!
And it needs to be held. By someone who doesn’t want ANYTHING from you. By someone who is able and willing to just be there. To just provide – like those who actually should have done were just not able to …
You have survived! You have survived the unspeakable! No matter what it was – it was your initiation into a deep and profound healing and awakening journey on your very own terms!
Your time will come – in your unique way!
In a way that has never been walked before!
You are amazing! You are so much more than you can see yet!
And behind the waterfall of tears lays the cave where you can rest your bones and reset your system.
And, oh boy, world beware when your system is ready to rise…
A flower will blossom of such unspeakable beauty that has never been spotted before, ever!
It will blossom from your heart, nourished by the waterfalls of your tears, strengthened by the light of your soul, unbreakable like a diamond and tender and delicate like the wings of a butterfly.
And it will herald the new era of love and togetherness and thrive side by side with the other diamond hearts which are on their healing journey just now – just like you are!
We are here – we are survivors – we have mastered the unspeakable. We are learning and we are cultivating our magic.
It’s us first – and then the world…
Please always always remember. And never allow anyone – not even yourself – to tell you otherwise!