*** Feeling humbled versus feeling humiliated – my accident teachings part 2***
When I was 19 i had a knee operation and it took me about 6 months to fully recover so I could somewhat sit cross legged again.
It was humiliating.
Unable to walk, join sports classes and events in school, climb down to the lake with my friends during the whole summer holidays…
I felt like shit 4 of these 6 months – not because of my leg but because of the perceived humiliation of needing help even to shower and go to the bathroom the first months…
It was devastating!
Why?! Why me?! Why now?! FUCK!
Today my situation is far worse – looking at the outside.
I am thoudands of miles away from home, from my family and friends, I cannot even get food for myself and being completely vulnerable and dependend on a friend I only know for just over a month.
I could feel so humiliated by my situation and by the feeling of being so utterly dependend.
But somehow that is not the case. I am in good spirits since day 1.
Open and committed to finding the gold and the teachings in this situation.
And instead of feeling humiliated I feel humbled.
Instead of lost, helpless and frustrated I feel insanely grateful for the love of my friend, that nothing worse happened to me and that this gives me a chance to reflect on my life and the changes and adjustments that need to be made!
Same physical situation – light years of emotional and mental difference!
And bending works – at least a little already